Do The Opposite
In the last post we said that successfully resisting and ignoring temptations to do wrong is a victory for you or like winning a round . More than ignoring and resisting, you can go further and actually do something with the negative temptations that get past the door of your mind. Doing or deeds is ultimately all that matters. So, beyond ignoring or resisting that negative inner voice of temptation, what can you do? You can do the opposite!
A way to not just have a winning round, but deliver a knock-out punch, is to do the opposite of whatever that negative inner-voice is tempting you to do. If the temptation is morally wrong, do the opposite. If it’s ethically wrong, do the opposite. If it’s unkind, do the opposite.
Train yourself to treat those thoughts and temptations as reminders of the good and right thing to do. If you are not sure what or how to do the opposite, give some charity. Those knock-outs will definitely make for a “life worthy of living”.
“The soul’s joy lies in doing.” – Percy Bysshe Shelley
“Moral action is the meeting place between the human and the Divine”. — Leon Roth
“Be the master of your will and the slave of your conscience”. — Chassidic saying
Heart and Soul
A Day Worth Having
So you Jump Out Of Bed grateful and thankful for being given more of the most precious non-renewable commodity/resource of all….Time. That is your caffeine before you have your coffee. With that, your day should begin with you being excited about what and whatever lies ahead. How can you use that time and excitement to ensure you have a day worth having?
Make two lists of “Things To Do”. The first is a list of the routine “to do’s”. The second is a list of the activities that will lead to your personal refinement and growth. At the end of the day, review your lists.
There will be days when you may not have accomplished much or any of what is on your first list. This will probably cause you some distress. Then before you get too upset, review the second list. If that day you reached out to someone through charity, kindness, and compassion, then you will have accomplished much of what is or should be on your second list. You can now count that day as a day worth having and all that distress should disappear. Perhaps, a better strategy is to start by reviewing the second list first.
There are always opportunities to accomplish the overall goal of the second list. If you don’t recognize an opportunity, then create one.
Here are some ideas for the second list
1. Call someone who you have difficulty calling because you may not know what to say to ease their pain, whether emotional or physical, or it’s hard for you to listen. Just call. All you have to say is “I’m thinking of you”. Let them know that they matter. You might be the only one who does.
2. Return a phone call that you would rather not. The person you call back may not like the response they get from you, but they will like that they got responded to more than if not.
3. Give some charity
Please share some of your ideas of what should be on the second list
Heart and Soul
What You See Is What You Choose
In the last post, “What You Choose Is What You Get”, we talked about how we respond to that which is sent our way.
Now, let’s look at what affects the choices we make. The choices you make, as stated before, are determined by what you first choose to feed. Are you feeding your wants, the ego-centric part of you, or your needs, the other-centric part of you? They are both hungry and cry out for feeding. What you feed affects your view of yourself and the world.
Feeding your wants solely, can lead to a negative view of others and may stem from a negative view of yourself. This will inevitably restrict your ability to love others, be optimistic, and ultimately to be happy. How can you love another or others when you don’t love yourself? “Love thy neighbor as thy self”, Leviticus 19:18. If you don’t love yourself, see your own value, believe you have purpose, then your neighbor probably doesn’t even want to answer the door. If what you see is all negative, then you will make negative/wrong choices.
Conversely, if what you see is positive, then you will make positive/right choices. Train yourself to be aware of your negative thoughts about yourself and others. Once you become aware, train yourself to look for a positive, even if you have to fake it at first. Finding a positive becomes easier when you reduce the feeding of the wants, and feed your needs more. The more light you let in, the brighter everything will become. You will even begin to see yourself as a “Shining Star”*
Homework Assignment
The next time you are in a people watching setting, choose someone and tell yourself what you think their story is. Then review the story. Was your description of them and their life negative or positive?
If it’s negative, then you probably tell a similar story about yourself to yourself. If that’s the case, change your emotional diet.
“If you see what needs to be repaired and how to repair it, then you have found a piece of the world that G-d has left for you to complete. But if you only see what is wrong and how ugly it is, then it is yourself that needs repair.” – Tzvi Freeman
“We all look at the same world, but what we see depends on who we are.”—R’ Isaac of Homil
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” – Willie Nelson
Heart and Soul
*Earth, Wind, and Fire
What You Choose Is What You Get
In previous posts/articles on this site it has been repeated that all that comes our way, is what is needed for our growth. It’s also been said that it is important to develop the attitude of believing and accepting that.
What is sent our way is not to be confused with the results that come from the choices we make and as a result what comes our way. Sometimes the choices we make are seemingly expedient, but are mistakenly so. Usually, those expedient choices are the ones that feed our wants rather than our needs. In considering which choice to make, ask yourself what you are feeding. We are responsible for those choices. We are responsible to ourselves for how they effect our growth and we are responsible for how those choices effect others.
If the choices you make are not the ones that lead to the intended improvement, then life/your coach will continue to send you other challenges/drills meant to improve that deficiency. It’s as though you took the wrong exit on your trip, your personal GPS will re-direct you if you pay attention. In other words, you get second chances.
How quickly you get to your destination is up to you. It depends on whether you choose to be a slow or fast learner by paying careful attention to the lessons, past and present. That which comes your way and what you do with it determines how quickly you get to where you need or are meant to be going.
Today, you are the sum of all your choices so far. You will become the sum of your choices, starting right now.
“In life there are two paths, the shorter longer way or the longer shorter way.” – Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi
” We are not creatures of circumstance; we are creators of circumstance.” — Benjamin Disraeli
“It’s choice, not chance that matters.” – Jean Nidetch
“Life is a sum of all your choices.” – Albert Camus
Who and what you are meant to be, meant to bring to the rest of us is embedded in your beginning and awaits you at the top of your mountain.
“The entire fruit is already present in the seed.” – Tertullian
Heart and Soul
“It’s Too Hard”
We often hear or say “It’s too hard” to do such and such. For now, let’s focus on the “too hards” that fall into the category of the “good and right things.”
Why are the good and right (good for others and you and vice-versa) things often the hardest to do? We are in a constant struggle between our wants and our needs. Our wants, which stem from the physical body, are those which feed our desires, our animal instincts, and our ego. Our needs, which emanate from our soul, are those which continue to elevate us, help us grow and improve, to become who and what we are meant to and therefore capable of becoming.
Responding to all the temptations to feed our wants only, may bring some sense of short-term gain and fun but eventually “A person can develop a cold”, (From Guys and Dolls).
Feeding our needs will bring constant and sustainable Happiness, or Joy.
The winner between the wants and needs will be the one you choose to feed. The temptations to feed our wants are ever-present and obvious, while our innate knowledge of what is right and good are often blocked by the wants, which is what makes them harder. With free will, you get to choose the easier or the harder. The easier not the better, or the harder and the better.
So again, just like the athlete in training, you must focus your training and development on that which you find the hardest to do. If they were easy to do things, then that means you have already mastered them. The hardest are hard because you haven’t yet mastered them and need to for your continued growth. Once you have mastered them they become more natural, easier to do, and harder for the wants to block them. You can’t run, you can’t hide, so don’t waste time and energy avoiding. The sooner you take them on, the sooner you will be stronger, healthier, better…Heart and Soul. The sooner you will be ready for the next and the Happier and Happier you will be.
“The entire purpose of our existence is to overcome our negative habits.” – Vilna Gaon
“The soul, like the body, lives by what it feeds on.” – J. G. Holland
“Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – Paul Clegg
“It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Make a list of those things you find hardest to do, or you most avoid. The ones that take you outside of yourself and reach out to another. Then start to do what you can to cross them off. Remember, words are and can be nice, but it’s doing,doing, and more doing……
Preparing For Uncertainty
Can you prepare for uncertainty in your life? The answer is….. Certainly. It begins with attitude. The first step is to develop the attitude that all which comes your way is ultimately for you to find yourself.
A good athletic coach/trainer by observing his athlete, knows where the athlete’s weaknesses lie and where he needs improvement. The coach/trainer sees what the athlete doesn’t or can’t see. So the coach constantly throws new drills at his athlete designed to help him improve.
The athlete may wonder why he is suddenly doing the new drills. He may not like how difficult they are, but he perseveres because he has faith in his coach. If you have faith that the new drills your life as your coach presents you are necessary for your improvement, you will persevere and grow. Train yourself to see all tests, struggles, or obstacles that way. Developing and having that attitude will also make the next drill easier. Then Jump
You cannot climb your mountain by staying on a flat road.
“Adversity introduces a man to himself”. — Albert Einstein
“Difficulties mastered are opportunities won.” – Winston Churchill
“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.” – Og Mandino
The Spinning Rabbi - Heart & Soul 