Your Reality TV Show Episode 3 (A Rerun)
On your Reality TV show, giving the power to define you to your audience could also mean you are succumbing to the values and mores of the time, rather than what is right and good throughout time. When you succumb this way, you will again always be chasing rather than finding happiness.
How can one be happy when they are doing that which they intrinsically know they shouldn’t be doing. Life is not a popularity contest, although wouldn’t it be nice if doing what is right, simply because it is right, was more popular?
We could use the Biblical Abraham here as a role model. Abraham is often described as gentle, kind, gracious and courageous. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks goes a little further and describes Abraham as having lived the “heroism of ordinary life, being willing to live by one’s convictions though all the world thinks otherwise, being true to the call of eternity, not the noise of now.”
“What is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.” – Albert Einstein
“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” – Thomas Jefferson
“Set your course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship.” – Omar N. Bradley
Very Important
On your show, always remember to keep a smile on your face
“Always wear a smile. The gift of life will then be yours to give.” — Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
Your Reality TV Show (A Rerun)
The last post (click here to read) reminded me of an old series I posted starting in 2013 called “Your Reality TV Show”. So I’m reposting some of the series now. Here are Episodes 1 and 2.
Episode 1
With all the popularity of Reality TV shows, imagine for a moment that your life was a reality show. What and how would you truly want people to see you? Does that match what they are seeing?
Let’s go a step further, imagine that you suddenly got amnesia and you are watching the reality show of your life, what would you think of the person (which is you) that you see? Would you want to watch your show again? Would you make changes? What would they be?
Episode 2
If you don’t like what you see on your Reality TV show, ask yourself the following: do you want people to see what you think they want to see, or do you have the courage and conviction of letting them see the true you?
Don’t confuse what you truly want people to see, the real you, with what you think they want to see. Seeking popularity and fame via your reality show means giving others the power to dictate who you are, or should be. When you give up that power, you will always be chasing popularity and never find true happiness. Have the courage to show and be your true self. You’ll be surprised at how many more tune in.
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” – Dale Carnegie
“If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of me.” – Dwight L. Moody
Don’t Wear A Mask
Now that I have your attention – Sorry this is not about protective masks for Covid, as important as that is
It’s thoughts about how we present ourselves to the world. Whether you show the true you or not. If it’s not the true you that you let people see, then you are wearing a mask. If you are wearing that mask, then you’re conscious or unconscious reasons might be protective. Or you just want to go along to get along.
People that have dogs and dog lovers think every dog and everything a dog does “is soooooo cuuute”!!
Does the dog know it’s cute? Does the dog do things to be cute? Or is a dog so cute just because it is just who it is?
Do you do things so that people will think you’re cute and like you? Is being popular and liked the most important to you? Like Sally Field said “You like me”. If you do, you are wearing a mask.
“I can’t give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.” – Herbert Bayard Swope
How often have you heard someone say they are trying to find themselves? Unfortunately, they rarely do because they continue to look in the wrong places. They sometimes look to others to define themselves rather than looking within. They do what others like and hope that they, themselves will like it, as opposed to doing what they like and hope that others will like it. Don’t confuse what you truly want people to see, the real you, with what you think they want to see.
Once you have covered morality, ethics, kindness, and empathy, then do what it is that you truly like. If you are not true to yourself, your soul, you cannot be happy. So you lose and we all lose. Have the courage to show and be your true self. Sing along “Who are you, who, who, who, who…” The Who.
I woman I know, once confided in me that in her dating experiences, she was always worried that the man would find out who she really was. She was afraid that he wouldn’t care for her if he knew her problems and hangups. I asked her, “Do you want him to fall for you or someone else that looks exactly like you? What if he does and then finds out you’re not who he fell for?”
In the Spinning classes that I lead, I play certain types of music. Mostly Oldies. Some have asked me, “why don’t you play more current music?” I tell them that I play the music I like and hope you like it. I don’t play the music you like and hope I like it. If I didn’t play the music I like, I wouldn’t like being in my own class.
“Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.” – Leonard Cohen
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” – Dolly Parton
“One who desires the attention of others, has not yet found himself.” – Rabbi Shlomo Wolfe
Each of us was created uniquely. There is no one else just like us…no one. Each of our paths is like no other. This is a beautiful thing. Each of us in our uniqueness adds something to the world that no one else can.
The world could not exist without your unique addition. Think of yourself as a piece in a jigsaw puzzle. There is no other piece with the exact shape as yours and the puzzle cannot be completed without your piece. If you’re wearing that mask, then your piece won’t fit and you are cheating yourself and all the rest of us.
The story is told that the great 15th century Kabbalist, the Ari, could read people’s faces. When people would pass him on the street, many would cover their faces because they felt that he saw past the mask and they were ashamed.
“The wisdom of the person shines in the face.” – Ecclesiastes 8:1
Don’t wear a mask! Let you shine through. You will be happier and so will we.
More than happy, you will find joy and fulfillment. When you do, you can continue to climb your mountain, no matter how steep and treacherous it sometimes becomes.
Be Good Do Good Think Good Be Healthy
Only You*
The Jewish people are about to celebrate Rosh Hashanah, generally known as the Jewish New Year.
I wish to share with all of you, one of the many inspiring lessons of this commemoration. A lesson that can help each of us, whatever our faith, climb our mountain.
Rosh Hashanah doesn’t commemorate the first day of creation, it celebrates the creation of mankind, Adam, which was on the sixth day.
One might ask then, why was Adam created alone rather than one of many?
Adam was created on purpose with a specific purpose and he knew it. Being only one, only he could accomplish his purpose or mission. All depended on him.
A Lesson For All
We are all created with a uniquely specific purpose and mission. If we think of ourselves as an Adam, then we realize that our purpose is also ours alone and all depends on each of us. We can’t expect someone else to do it for us. Sing along “Only you can make this world seem right / Only you can make the darkness bright / Only you and you alone!”* This is a powerfully inspiring thought, that reminds each of us of how valuable our lives are, individually and collectively.
The Creation narrative says “In the beginning the Almighty created. .. . ” to teach us that He only created the beginning. The remainder is left to us. — Rebbe Leibele Eiger of Lublin
Or maybe, the reason Adam was created alone was so that he couldn’t kvetch, go to a therapist, and blame his problems on his parents or anyone else!😀
L’Shana Tova A Good And Sweet Year
Be Good Do Good Think Good Be Healthy
*From the song “Only You” by The Platters
Head Up Look Forward
With the Pandemic, storms, wildfires, protests, riots, the election, the challenge to stay positive is more daunting. It is hard to look forward optimistically when there is so much uncertainty. That it’s more challenging is why it’s so much more important that you rise up to the challenge and stay positive.
You cannot control that which comes your way. You can control how you respond.
A Little Perspective
Viktor Frankl* described being in Auschwitz as a “provisional existence”. He and the others existed with complete uncertainty. With what they were experiencing, it was easy to very pessimistic and give up. Viktor Frankl survived Auschwitz by thinking of finishing his book, seeing his wife and family again,….. He chose to only think thoughts that gave him purpose, a reason to stay strong, look forward, and keep going.
Replace negative thoughts of today or tomorrow with positive ones for today or tomorrow. Like him, think of the things you would like to look forward to.
“Faith is the courage to live with uncertainty” – Rabbi Jonathan Sacks
A Thought About Keeping Your Head Up
If you saw someone walking down the street with their head down, what would you think their state of mind is? Is their head just down, or is it reflective of their feeling down? We know for sure that literally and metaphorically, they are not looking forward. They are not seeing, or don’t want to see, that which lies ahead. If they are feeling down, then by looking down, they will never see anything different or better. This will cause their state of mind or situation to remain the same or get worse. By looking up and forward, they can and will see something better, even if it’s just one person smiling at them.
Agree?
If so, then pay attention to when you are walking by yourself, and notice whether you are looking down or ahead. You may not even realize that your mood is down, so if you catch yourself looking down, let it be a reminder to check in with your current state of mind.
We can get two lessons here for the price of one:
1. If you notice that your head is down, then remind yourself to lift it up and look ahead. Train yourself to do this no matter how heavy your head may feel.
2.Then when walking with your head up, smile at the person coming your way. Even if they don’t respond, it can/will lift or keep their head up.
Recently, I was on a walk and I noticed a couple coming my way. It was a man and a woman, both about 85-ish. They were walking with their arms around each others waist. They looked so happy, so contented, and so much in love. What a beautiful and inspiring sight that I wouldn’t have seen if my head was down.
If you are not looking forward now, you will be looking back later
Be Good Do Good Think Good Be Healthy
*From “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Dr. Viktor Frankl
Once again if you haven’t read it Do!!!
Covid Is Not A Time Out
In thinking about the past several months, I am reminded of this “Oldie But Goodie” post. So here it is updated and reposted with it’s relevance to the Pandemic in mind. Perhaps it should have been sent earlier, yet it’s still relevant.* It’s always relevant because all of us have probably taken a “time out” at sometime, or wish we could. So it’s a valuable reminder to all, anytime and all of the time.
With all of the restrictions still upon us during this pandemic, we have to be careful not to view it as a time out. It is easy to turn this into an excuse to “take a break” or a “time out”. Rather, see it as another opportunity, perhaps disguised, to learn and grow .
No Time Outs
The most important moment of all is Right Now! That being said, we know that every moment is precious and counts. Every precious moment counts and goes by whether we choose to participate or not.
“You may delay, but time will not.” – Benjamin Franklin
“The day will happen whether or not you get up.” – John Ciardi
“We cannot put off living until we are ready.” – Jose Ortega y Gasset
“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” – Charles Darwin
An athlete competes and is alive during a competition. Then there is training and preparing. In between training and competing, there are time-outs. There are also time-outs during the competition.
In life there are no time-outs. The proverbial exceptions to this rule are sleep (although a case can be made that sleep is part of preparing) and an appropriate mourning period.
There are moments when we might wish for a time-out. If we were to take one, then we are not fully alive during those lost moments. How often have you said, or heard someone say, “I’m in a place in my life” or “I need to work on myself”? That’s asking for a time-out in a game where there are none. It’s like walking off the field in the middle of the game and watching the game go on from the sidelines.
“Life is like playing the violin solo in public and learning the instrument as you go”. – Samuel Butler
This mindset is often the result of a tragic event and/or an epiphany that wrong choices have consistently been made producing negative results. This is a natural and understandable emotional response. To not allow this emotional response to control you, remember that everything happens for a reason. Therefore, everyone you come into contact with today and tomorrow is for a reason. That person may need something from you, or need to give you something you need.
That can’t happen if you are not on the field and you have taken yourself out of the game. If you temporarily take yourself out of the game, then you are at best delaying the discovery of your purpose and fulfilling your potential for the benefit of one or all.
If your reason for “working on yourself” is so that you may be the person you were created and wish to be, then you can’t be a spectator of life. You need to be “working on yourself” in and during the game. The rest of us need you to play to your potential. If not we all lose.
A woman was considering taking a sabbatical from her teaching profession to travel and look for the meaning of life. She went to see her spiritual leader, a man known as The Rebbe, for advice. This is what he said to her,
“When you find the meaning of life, will you have enough time left to live a meaningful life? Better to live a meaningful life and find meaning along the way”. – Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson
For those who take themselves out of the game of love, consider that a person presented to you may be the one and…
“If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.” – Humphrey Bogart as Rick Blaine in Casablanca
If you have been taking a “time out” during this period, Life as your coach is calling you back in the game. The team needs you!
Be Good Do Good Think Good Be Healthy
*I would have put this out sooner but I was taking a time out 😀
Fill This Prescription
Fill this prescription now
Currently, as we Navigate the extra stormy seas of the pandemic, wildfires, hurricanes, etc., a stronger dose of this medicine is highly recommended. So take this medicine at least once a day and everyday.
Feeling depressed, anxious, angry, lonely, low energy, and more? Well now there is and there always has been a prescription to cure all of that. It is called smiling and laughing. Smiling and laughing are the best medicines to keep you going. It begins with and/or creates a positive attitude. It also creates a healthy physiological response.
An additional benefit, is that when you smile and laugh, you make others smile and laugh.
Disclaimer
It doesn’t guarantee to make a problem disappear. It will make you feel better, stronger, and hence better able to deal with the problem. Being stronger does give you a fighting chance. As long as you’re fighting you have a chance of winning.
You have no control over the tests, hurdles, and struggles sent your way. You do have control over how you respond.
There is no risk in taking this medicine, it is completely safe. There is only upside.
Side Effects
Side effects may include: more friends, reversal of frown lines, a busier social calendar, a need to get your teeth whitened, a need to buy more clothes…….
Directions
Smiling and laughing includes the ability to laugh at yourself and the circumstances you are in, self-imposed or otherwise. Whenever you are feeling any of the symptoms described above, try the following:
1.Laugh at something about yourself
2. watch or listen to a comedy or comedian
3. say cheese
The Clinical Trials
Much has been discussed and written about the Jewish sense of humor. It is often noted that there have been so many Jewish comedians over the years, long before Jerry Seinfeld. People always wonder how is it that after thousands of years of persecution, expulsions, pogroms, the Holocaust, etc., that Jews can still laugh and be funny. The Jewish sense of humor is both self and situational deprecating. The ability to laugh is both a survival mechanism and less discussed, is that we are taught to have faith that things will get better. When we all have that faith and smile they will.
“Laughter prevents hardening of the attitudes.” – Dunc Muncy
“Smile – it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.” – Don Ward
“It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 47 muscles to frown. Conserve energy.” – unknown
“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” – Phyliss Diller
“As long as you can laugh at yourself you will never cease to be amused.” – Unknown
“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” – Yakov Smirnoff
“If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.” – Andy Rooney
“I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.” – Milton Berle
“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” – Yiddish Proverb
“Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face”. – Victor Hugo
“Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.” – Connor Franta
“A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose”. – Tom Wilson
“Always wear a smile. The gift of life will then be yours to give.” — Rebbe Nachman of Breslov
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
Watch this video and Smile
Be Good Do Good Think Good Be Healthy
The Spinning Rabbi is not a Doctor, I’m not even a real Rabbi, but I can confidently and legally prescribe the above 😀
I hope this post brings a Smile to your face 😄 If it does share it with those who might need it
