The Three C’s
So you have decided that you really, really want to make some changes. Start by writing down what it is that you want to change and why. Then apply the three C’s: Commit, Committed, Committing.
Then ask yourself, whether the changes are for improvements in career, or personal life, or athletic, etc., etc.,….. what it is that you want to accomplish. Ask yourself
What is my overall goal? Once you have defined that, decide how you will make those changes. Then Commit
Once you commit, in applying those changes, ask yourself
What is the goal of my next action or words? Is it consistent with my overall goal or dream? If yes, then be Committed.
Have this as a checklist for your words or actions towards accomplishing your goal, before Committing
- Does it meet the highest moral and ethical standards?
- Is it my very best at this point in time?
- Am I putting the Thou before the I?
- If it involves others, is it kind and compassionate and did it also inspire and benefit them?
- Does it elevate me?
Apply these tests before all that you do or say, until it becomes second nature. Again, an athlete, let’s say a tennis player, is taught before taking a stroke; adjust your grip, pivot, racket back, bend your knees….. The tennis player”s inner/silent voice goes through the checklist before taking the stroke. The more the athlete practices, the sooner the action becomes second nature or automatic. As it does that inner voice is no longer needed and it will slowly disappear.
After any action or statement, even after it’s become second nature, ask yourself if it met all the requirements of your checklist. Imagine the joy and contentment you will feel as the answer becomes yes more and more of the time.
Imagine that others will notice, consciously or unconsciously and that will inspire them to do the same. We all need heroes, but it starts with ourselves. Imagine how slowly at first, then with increasing momentum the world will become a better place.
As you get closer to your dream, your goal, the top of your mountain you will inspire others, who will inspire others, “etc. etc. etc” from the King in ‘The King and I”.
And remember, it takes time…..”Slowly I turn…step by step…inch by inch…
“We know what we are, but know not what we may be.” – William Shakespeare
“Be the person you want others to be.” — Rabbi David Aron
Heart and Soul
“Slowly I turned…step by step…inch by inch…”*
We often speak of wanting our lives to change or for changes to be made. We often struggle to get there, then give up, and then we have the same conversation with ourselves. That is simply because in order for our lives to change, we actually have to be willing to make changes and then make those changes.
There isn’t a magic potion and we can’t expect instant success. Learning and developing a new habit takes time and regular practice through use. The longer we have been living a certain way, the longer any change takes.
Like an athlete who hires a new coach. The new coach wants the athlete to change a fundamental part of their game, in order to improve their game. First, the athlete unlearns the old/bad habit while learning the new/good habit. He does this through practice and repetition , practice and repetition , and more practice and repetition……
An athlete also learns that the power is in the follow through. If you visualize or perform a tennis stroke, golf swing, batting, shooting a basket, throwing a ball, throwing a punch, a pedal stroke, you know that the power in those athletic actions comes from the follow through. So to it is with your dreams and goals. Your power lies in your follow through.
“People who believe they have the power to exercise some measure of control over their lives are healthier, more effective and more successful than those who lack faith in their ability to effect changes in their lives.” – Albert Bandura, Phd.
“They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” – Andy Warhol
So if you really want change remember it’s…… “Slowly I turn…step by step…inch by inch…
Heart and Soul
*Famous comedy routine most associated with Abbott and Costello
*“If I am I because I am I…”*
The post below is by far the most read post of any published here at the Spinning Rabbi*. Every day, people from all over the world visit the site to read it. So it’s time to publish it again with a little update, for those that don’t remember it or have never seen it.
See what it means to you and why you think it is so popular.
“If I am I because I am I, and you are you because you are you, then I am I and you are you. But, if I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you”. – R’Mendel of Kotzk
Simply stated, what that means can be summarized by
“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” – Oscar Wilde.
While that’s correct, let’s look a little deeper and ask why be you. If your life has a purpose (and it does) then you cannot find and fulfill that purpose without you being you. Your value to yourself and the rest of us, is the unique you. There is no one else like you and therefore no one else can fulfill your purpose. Giving and sharing that unique you matters.
You are not just matter. It is you that matters.
“If I try to be like him, who will be like me?” — Yiddish Proverb
“If you want to be original just try being yourself, because G-d has never made two people exactly alike.” – Bernard Meltzer
“If G-d had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“If I’m going to sing like someone else, then I don’t need to sing at all.” – Billie Holiday
“The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.” – Walt Disney
“Be a first-rate version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else.” – Judy Garland
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” – Dolly Parton
Heart and Soul
* published and updated for the third time
Who Would You Rather Listen To?
Next week the Jewish people will celebrate Passover. Passover commemorates their Exodus from 210 years of slavery in Egypt. Jews are commanded to constantly remember their slavery, to remember it as though they were there. There are several very valuable lessons in doing this. One of those valuable lessons of this remembering, is this – G-d freed the Jews so that they were no longer physical slaves, yet they were still slaves. Now they were their own Pharaoh and the slavery was of the self-imposed spiritual and emotional variety. Once physically free, it was up to them to free themselves spiritually and emotionally.
This lesson applies to all people who are blessed to live in freedom today. This means that the only one who can free you now, is you. It’s up to you to free yourself from your personal Egypt.
We all (some more, some less) hold ourselves back from climbing our mountain and we keep ourselves from becoming the person we were created and destined to become. We each have a Pharaoh inside our head that says to us “You can’t, You’re not good enough…..” (see the inner-speak series). We also have a Moses inside of us that tells us “You can, You are good enough and more….. and listening to that voice can lead us to freedom. A freedom that we can use to continually grow and improve. Who would you rather listen to? Who do you really, really believe?
“We suffer under the constraints of our habits simply because we had them yesterday. We are slaves to ingrained pathways of our lives and our world; because we are too busy dusting the covers of our Book of Life to read its pages.” – The Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson
Heart and Soul
Who Do You Hang Out With?
An athlete in training, who is serious about improving his game, will look to play against someone who is at least a little bit better than they are. This upward competition forces the athlete to test his current limits and hence improve his game. A person looking to get closer to being a Super Human, should consider this approach.
Using this approach, one should always look to “hang out with”, or befriend, someone who can help them elevate them self. Someone they can look to as a role model. Choose someone who is more knowledgeable, more kind and compassionate, has high moral and ethical actions, charitable, etc., etc.,……. Choosing someone with these characteristics will and can only, over time, improve your game.
Too often, for various reasons, we associate with and continue to associate with someone who is negative, has and exhibits destructive behaviors, gossips, has and exhibits morally and ethically deficient behaviors, etc., etc., …. Choosing someone with these characteristics will not elevate you and at best will stunt or delay your growth. Worst case, is that it can cause you to get “down in the mud” with them.
Always strive to improve your game, to grow, and to climb your mountain. If you are not growing, then you are getting smaller. If you are not climbing, you are going downhill.
So now you may ask, “If everyone only hangs out with role models, why would/should a role model hang out with me”? Simply because, a role model (a true role model doesn’t see himself as such) is always seeking to elevate himself. Part of elevating oneself is being willing and available (not to be confused with hanging out) to assist others . To assist others and teach or lead by example.
“When one meets someone who conducts himself properly, the smart one should learn from him how to behave. And when one encounters someone who is the opposite of righteous, he or she must learn from that person how not to behave”.- The Baal Shem Tov
“Each person must live their life as a model for others.” – Rosa Parks
“Example isn’t another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.” – Albert Einstein
Heart and Soul
A Super Hero Or A Super Human
A Super Hero wears his costume on the outside to hide his true identity. A Super Human uses his outer costume to reveal his true identity.
A human may wear his outer, meaning his physical body, to project to the world that which his emotional makeup tells him the world wants to see. A human may also try to change his outer to please. A human may wear his outer to conceal from the world who he truly is.
A Super Human allows his inner to shine through his outer, to give the world that which he was created to give, that which we all need from him. He was given the attributes, or perceived flaws, and the uniqueness of his outer/costume to accomplish his mission. He uses the outer to express his inner, not to hide it. His inner and outer become one. When they do, he has found true happiness and we all benefit.
The director of a play or movie chooses an actor to play a certain role, not just based on acting ability, but one whose physical appearance the audience will associate with the character of the character. Our director/our creator chose our physical for us. It was chosen and given to us so that we could play our role, on this stage that we call our world. It was chosen and given to us because when used properly, it is consistent with our purpose and mission. It was given to us so that we may use it to bring a good to our audience. The good that we were uniquely given to give.
Whether you are tall or short, good-looking or maybe not, whatever hair or eye color, etc., etc., etc. The question you must ask yourself is how do I use this for the good? How do I use this to express my true underlying character?
When you merge the inner and outer, you will be you, through and through!
“Our aim is not to be superhuman, but to be super humans.” — Rabbi Shraga Silverstein
“When I stand before G-d at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.” – Erma Bombeck
For a little humor on the subject.
“I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
Heart and Soul
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