Do I feel bad because it’s been over three months since I’ve posted anything here?  Yes.  I’m touched and moved to action by those that have let me know that they missed the posts.  I’m sorry and I can and will do better.

Yet, that is not is not what I mean by the title of this post.  It is actually from a very interesting story about something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

I was walking down the street with my Sister and Brother-in-Law.  We just came out of a restaurant after having lunch, which was just after having been to my Father’s Unveiling*.  A man, who appeared a little down and out, but not necessarily homeless, approached me.  He asked me for a dollar, saying he wanted to “buy a cup of coffee”.  I reached into my pocket and gave him a dollar.  He said “thank you”.

I proceeded to walk to the corner to cross the street and go to the car.  When I got to the car, I had to turn around to get in, and now I could see him again.  He was standing at the corner staring at me.  When the light changed, he crossed the street in my direction.  As we were about to pull out, he approached the car and knocked on the window.  I opened the window and he handed me back the dollar bill??  I said “that’s okay, you can keep it”.  He calmly and simply said, “I feel bad” and pushed the dollar bill into my hand?!

If everything happens for a reason and it does, I am left with trying to understand the reason for this experience.  What can I learn from it?  What is it that he was meant to bring to me, or I to him, or both.  A gift/lesson given and/or received so that I/we could be more ready to complete our mission here.

While I’m doing that, here is as assignment for you

While there are many possible explanations for what this occurrence was about and we’ll never know what it actually was, think about why you believe this happened.  Perhaps write it down.  Then review it.  Your thought will tell you something about yourself.  It tells you about your perspective, how you see others, and the world.  Understanding your perspective can help you on your path to the ultimate you.

So ask yourself ——–

Why did I think that?  Was it a positive or negative?  Was it inspiring? ………..

 “We don’t always see things as they are, we see things as we are” Anais Nin

While I didn’t know what to make of what happened at that moment, I knew that particular dollar bill wasn’t meant for me to buy something with, even a cup of coffee.  I decided I would give it to charity.  Later that day, I saw a woman sitting on the street holding a bowl with money placed in it asking for Tzedakah (charity), so I handed that dollar bill to her.

“When two people meet, something good should result for a third.” – Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn

Heart and Soul

* An unveiling is a Jewish ceremony at the unveiling of the gravestone done within a year of the burial

This post might seem out-of-place from the usual writings you see here, but it’s really not.

To wake up every morning to news of another Jew being attacked, wounded, or murdered because they are a Jew is heartbreaking.  I cannot be silent and therefore I must do something.  This post is a little of that something.

While there is a raging debate over the causes of the recent terrorist attacks against Jews in Israel, there should be no debate that murdering people is ever acceptable. What should be automatically and universally accepted is, as the Sixth Commandment says, “Do Not Murder”.

Whether “settlements” are justified or not, to equate building a home with murder is immoral!!

There is no grievance that justifies murdering others. There is no justification for teaching people and children to dehumanize another, to believe they are heroes for murdering, and  to celebrate the death of their victims.  To attempt to justify the murdering, to create a moral equivalence, is immoral!

The western world has become an enabler to this terrorism, since groups like the PLO and Hamas have used terrorism to further their demands.  For too long, we have rewarded terrorism by giving it a voice and by acceding to the murderers demands.  This enabling has been exploited by the terrorists.  As a result, terrorism has metastasized worldwide.  The victims have been those murdered, their loved ones, those that live under the threat, and those taught to hate.  Peace has been postponed by this, while lives on both sides have been unnecessarily lost.

We must start fighting this rampage of stabbings, plowing cars into pedestrians, bombs, etc., by immediately condemning murder, teaching hate, and incitement by any and all means.  We must not accept any explanations or justifications for the murderers acts.  There must not be any equivocating, no “after all…..”, etc..  To do that is to give license, not condemnation.

The leaders who teach hate and unleash it when it suits them, must know that it will not be tolerated, and that there will be no gain to be had from it.  They must learn that there will be no discussions of their claimed grievances until such time that this murder, teaching, preaching, and incitement stops.

If this was done many years ago, at its beginnings, many lives would have been saved, and the possibility of peace would have been greatly enhanced.  It may already have been achieved.

It is taught that we fight the darkness with light.  To do this we must bring light to the darkness.  For too, too long we have allowed the darkness to come to the light.

In my last post “Oh My Papa”, I told of the man my Father was, his strength, attitude, and approach to life on the occasion of his having just passed.

Since then I have been taking trips down memory lane.  Some of that was done through viewing old pictures I found in going through his home.

In looking at some of the old pictures I was profoundly struck by something in particular that I wish to share.  It is a lesson for all people, on dealing with life’s struggles.

I saw pictures of my parents, some relatives, and some friends, all Holocaust survivors, in a displaced persons camp in Italy, where my parents met after the war, and some pictures of them soon after they arrived in America.

What struck me, was that in all of those pictures, they were smiling and looked happy.  If one didn’t know their story, one would not have been able to guess what they had just experienced.  To most of us, it is unimaginable to be smiling having just endured the unendurable and unimaginable.

What I saw in those pictures and learned from watching my Parents, was that they and all Holocaust survivors carry the weight of their past suffering with them all of the time, yet they are strong enough to continue to move forward.  To move forward to a better life.  They came to America and other places and built lives.  They got married, had children, served the community, gave charity, and made a living.

They were able to do this because consciously or un, they believed that their life had a purpose and meaning.  They had faith and hope.  If they didn’t, they probably wouldn’t have survived in the first place.

This is a powerful lesson and reminder for all.

P.S. This Thursday, April 16, 2015 is Yom HaShoah, the annual Holocaust Remembrance day

P.P.S. This strength, faith, and hope is what Dr. Viktor Frankl witnessed when he was in Auschwitz and wrote about in his book “Man’s Search For Meaning”.

Sam Fox, My Father, A Holocaust Survivor

1929 – 2015

I wish to share with you some of the many lessons I was privileged to learn from my Father.

When asked by my Brother, “What is the secret to a successful and happy life?”, despite having experienced the Holocaust, in which he lost his parents and five siblings….despite then sitting in a wheelchair because of a paralyzing stroke….. despite that his wife, my Mother, was dying in the other room…..He said

“In life some people have it easy and make it hard and some people have it hard and make it easy” 

The value of charity

“When I first came to America I had nothing, yet I always gave to charity. When I did, it always made me feel rich.” – from an acceptance speech upon receiving an award 

The value of the pursuit of good

“The pursuit of the good is the noblest of character builders and one of the sources of true gratification”.  There are other things in life besides self-interest.  Personal involvement in others challenges, in community affairs are the greatest sources of personal achievement and success.  Too many people refuse to understand what it means to be involved and to help others.  They are truly missing something.  There is nothing as gratifying and self-fulfilling as helping others.  Why don’t you try it?  If you do, I can assure you that you will arrive at a similar conclusion.  Try it, you will like it”. – from another acceptance speech upon receiving an award 

These were just some of his words.  The valuable lessons learned by all who had the privilege of knowing him, came from watching him turn those words into deeds.

*Listen to Eddie Fisher’s beautiful song