“I Feel Bad”

Do I feel bad because it’s been over three months since I’ve posted anything here?  Yes.  I’m touched and moved to action by those that have let me know that they missed the posts.  I’m sorry and I can and will do better.

Yet, that is not is not what I mean by the title of this post.  It is actually from a very interesting story about something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

I was walking down the street with my Sister and Brother-in-Law.  We just came out of a restaurant after having lunch, which was just after having been to my Father’s Unveiling*.  A man, who appeared a little down and out, but not necessarily homeless, approached me.  He asked me for a dollar, saying he wanted to “buy a cup of coffee”.  I reached into my pocket and gave him a dollar.  He said “thank you”.

I proceeded to walk to the corner to cross the street and go to the car.  When I got to the car, I had to turn around to get in, and now I could see him again.  He was standing at the corner staring at me.  When the light changed, he crossed the street in my direction.  As we were about to pull out, he approached the car and knocked on the window.  I opened the window and he handed me back the dollar bill??  I said “that’s okay, you can keep it”.  He calmly and simply said, “I feel bad” and pushed the dollar bill into my hand?!

If everything happens for a reason and it does, I am left with trying to understand the reason for this experience.  What can I learn from it?  What is it that he was meant to bring to me, or I to him, or both.  A gift/lesson given and/or received so that I/we could be more ready to complete our mission here.

While I’m doing that, here is as assignment for you

While there are many possible explanations for what this occurrence was about and we’ll never know what it actually was, think about why you believe this happened.  Perhaps write it down.  Then review it.  Your thought will tell you something about yourself.  It tells you about your perspective, how you see others, and the world.  Understanding your perspective can help you on your path to the ultimate you.

So ask yourself ——–

Why did I think that?  Was it a positive or negative?  Was it inspiring? ………..

 “We don’t always see things as they are, we see things as we are” Anais Nin

While I didn’t know what to make of what happened at that moment, I knew that particular dollar bill wasn’t meant for me to buy something with, even a cup of coffee.  I decided I would give it to charity.  Later that day, I saw a woman sitting on the street holding a bowl with money placed in it asking for Tzedakah (charity), so I handed that dollar bill to her.

“When two people meet, something good should result for a third.” – Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn

Heart and Soul

* An unveiling is a Jewish ceremony at the unveiling of the gravestone done within a year of the burial