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Always Be Considerate?

October 21, 2014

A question arises from the last post Let Go and Be Considerate:  “Should one always be considerate, even if the other person is not”?

The short answer is….YES.

Always be considerate to all who come your way.  Always act kindly and not necessarily in-kind.  Read more on this in the “Kind Or In-Kind” series

First and foremost though, you must be considerate to yourself.  As Hillel said

“Love your fellow as yourself” (Leviticus 19;18).

The focus of that quote is generally on the “love your fellow/neighbor” part.  The focus should begin with the “… yourself” part.  To be of any value to another, for your love of another to be of value, you must love yourself first.  To love yourself, you must take care of yourself.

“We must be our own before we can be another’s.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Always be considerate of another but always remember to use the “Lifeguard” approach.  If a lifeguard swims out to save someone and that person in his panic fights you, you must let them go in order to save yourself.

In other words, if the other person is not considerate of you, it is not inconsiderate of you to save yourself.

It is okay to consider the other’s perspective or motivations only up to the point that you are at risk.  The bottom line is the bottom line, and that is, if they are affecting you negatively, it doesn’t matter what their perspective is.

If the other wants to play hide and seek, than seek as long as they really want to be found.  If they don’t want to be found, then they need to find themselves first.  If they don’t want to be found, you won’t find them and more importantly, you will get lost and  lose yourself.

 Heart and Soul



One Comment leave one →
  1. Jocko permalink
    October 21, 2014 7:06 pm

    Thanks, Fred. I don’t think I really appreciated the “power” of kindness until well into adulthood. I was lucky enough to have been strongly encouraged to try kindness and when I remembered to practice it, my life is simply better.

    Thanks for the series. I think you have enough street cred that folks should try out some “Kindness practices” with strangers and talk over the outcomes with you. Anyhow, thank you. Jocko

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