Beginning and End
In contemplating the last post, Your Self-Fulfilling Prophesy, the quote and thought below originally sent 12/26/10 comes to mind. If you begin with a positive, so too will be the end and vice-versa.
“The beginning is embedded in the end, and the end is embedded in the beginning.” – Sefer Yetzirah 1:7
The Beginning
If you have a dream or goal, its beginning is born with fire and passion. When you reach that goal or realize your dream, its end, that same passion and fire will be found. If the “purpose of life is a life of purpose”, then you begin by seeking to discover your specific purpose. When you explore with kindness, compassion and giving to all those you meet on the way you will eventually find its end, your purpose. Along the way your trip will be filled with purposeful joy.
The End
Your Self-Fulfilling Prophesy
It has been said here “Don’t predict your future, just be prepared for it.” Of course we often do predict and prepare for our future by our outlook and inner-speak.
While it is probably impossible to scientifically prove that a positive outlook will bring the desired results, there is no downside. At a minimum, you will be cheerful, and that’s a good start for keeping you on the right path.
You can’t change that which comes and is meant to come your way, but you can change the choices you make and what those choices bring your way. If your outlook is positive, then it is highly probable that the choices you make will take you higher.
“Think good and it will be good.” – Rabbi Menachem Mendel, The Tzemach Tzedek
If your outlook is negative, then it is a certainty that the choices you make will take you there.
“If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a good chance of being a prophet.” — Isaac Bashevis Singer
Dancing Better Than Yourself
To dance better than yourself, you have to be yourself. Your life has purpose and meaning (repeat after me, My life has purpose and meaning), and it is a unique one. It takes a unique one to perform a unique mission.
You are similar in many ways to all others and yet you are different. Your thoughts are sometimes similar, yet in total you think differently. Many parts of you look similar, yet in total no one looks exactly like you (the identical twins who receive this may disagree).
This means that you are not a commodity. You are rare. Like a rare precious gem, you are valuable. Your true value to the rest of us is not when you are buried and hidden, but when you let us see you shine. It is when we can see you, feel your presence, and you touch us. Sing Along, “Whether I’m right or whether I’m wrong. Whether I find a place in this world or never belong I gotta be me,I’ve gotta be me” – “I’ve Gotta Be Me” written by Walter Marks
“If I’d only known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier.” — Bette Midler
“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” — Golda Meir
“If I try to be like him, who will be like me?” — Yiddish Proverb
“If you want to be original just try being yourself, because G-d has never made two people exactly alike.” – Bernard Meltzer
Competing With Yourself
The truest competition is not the out doing of another; rather it is the out doing of our present selves. To discover our purpose we must constantly mine and discover our potential (see Limits of Unlimited Potential). Our goal is to tap into all of our potential available at that moment, in all that we do. From athletics to relationships to….. Each time we do that, we find we are capable of more. A champion is not necessarily number one, but is one who gives their all at every moment in all they do.
When the great Rabbi Zusha was on his deathbed, He was surrounded by family, friends, and students. They saw him crying and asked if he was crying because he feared death. He explained that he wasn’t afraid of dying. He was afraid that when he died and met G-d, he wouldn’t be asked why he wasn’t more like Moses or Abraham; he would be asked why he wasn’t more like Zusha.
“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.” – Mikhail Baryshnikov
“Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing”*
“A man without a woman is like a ship without a sail. It’s like a boat without a rudder. It’s like a kite without a tail. A man without a woman is like a ship upon the sand. There’s only one thing worse in this universe, it’s a woman, without a man….” – unknown
Too often what we seek in another is what we want or need rather than what we can give or what we are needed for. When you have met that someone for whom all you wish to do is give, you will have found true and unconditional love. Do not fear that it will be a one-sided relationship. If that person is the one, then all they will want to do is give to you. So by definition, both of you will be receiving without the expectation of a return for your giving. Giving in order to receive often sets us up for the disappointments that eat away.
“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” – Dalai Lama
“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” – C.S. Lewis
“You don’t truly love someone until you can take what they need to give you.” – David Suissa
In this giving, don’t fear losing yourself. You will be enhancing yourself. Your uniqueness, value, and purpose remain intact. You keep it by sharing it with the other and vice-versa.
“Love turns one person into two and two into one.” – Rabbi Don Yitchak Abarbanel
“Two people, two souls, synergize the best in both and overcome the least in each.” – Chassidic Adage
Primary rule of a healthy and lasting partnership – communicate, communicate, and communicate
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” – Henry Winkler
What it is
“The salvation of man is through love and in love.” – Dr.Viktor Frankl
“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” – David Viscott
“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” — Erich Segal
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” — Theodor Seuss Geisel
Sing Along
Love is a many-splendored thing,
It’s the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature’s way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love’s a many-splendored thing.
* from the Academy Award winning movie of the same name. Written by Sammy Fain and Paul Francis Webster
“Love, Love, Love” – “All You Need Is Love” The Beatles
A healthy relationship begins with a healthy relationship with one self. If you don’t love yourself, then how can you love another? If you don’t love yourself, then you won’t allow another to love you and why would they want to. If you can’t see your inner beauty/soul, then you won’t let someone else in, even if they do see it. If you can’t see yours, how can you see that of another? Begin by recognizing and constantly remembering that you have value and you matter. You are here, for a specific purpose and mission that only you can fulfill. Never forget that. When you truly internalize and believe that, you will love yourself and be sunshine.
Try this exercise- take an honest inventory and ask yourself why someone would want to be with you. When you have made that list, ask yourself if you would want to be with you. What character and qualities of another are attractive to you? You possess those, but do you exhibit those?
“If I am not for myself, who will be for me. And if I am only for myself, of what good am I.” Hillel – Ethics of Fathers 1:14
Sing along “Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you, in time it’s easy. All you need is love, all you need is love, …” – The Beatles, John Lennon and Paul McCartney
“To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” – Brandi Snyder
Move, Move, Move
Take that step forward. Imagine if a boxer stood still in the ring…move, move, move. Get up to bat and swing, shoot the ball…..miss, fail, stumble, fall…. And then get up and try it again. This time you will do it better because you learned something from the last try. Right? … and move, move…
“A lesson from a bicycle: one can only maintain balance by moving forward.” – unattributed
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
“Why do we fall- so we can learn to pick ourselves up.” – Alfred to Bruce Wayne in “Batman Begins”
“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.” – Tallulah Bankhead
“One who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein
“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” – Beverly Sills
“Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.” – Victoria Holt
The Spinning Rabbi - Heart & Soul 