Everything Happens For A Lesson

Everything happens for a reason.  The reason Life as your coach sends/gives you challenges is because they are necessary for your growth.  Within them are lessons meant to guide you towards eventually discovering the person you are meant to be and is needed.  So everything happens for a lesson.  Seeing them as lessons towards your growth depends on your attitude.  Your attitude determines your altitude.

“Experience is the best teacher, and the worst experiences teach the best lessons.” — Unknown

Someone I know very well has going through a very challenging time.  His mountain has became very steep, dark, stormy…..  Most people that know him aren’t aware of it.  They think that he has led a pretty charmed life.  Their view is from the outside looking in, from their perspective, and because to a large degree he was private.  Yet they were mostly right because he still believes he was and is blessed, so what’s there to Kvetch about 😃

A friend once told him that it’s not fair to not let your friends in and expect them to let you in.  Nonetheless, many did let him in and he endeavored to be empathetic and helpful.  So, when his mountain became very treacherous he eventually took his friend’s advice to heart.

He initially and selectively, shared his trials with some close friends and relatives.  Some were very helpful and some not so much.  He was in some cases very pleasantly surprised at how very helpful some were, as well as unpleasantly surprised by the not so much.  Some of the helpfuls did more than he expected.  Some of the unhelpfuls could have…..

There were some that he did not reach out to but ran into.  When asked how he was, rather then replying with the standard “I’m fine”, he now told them that he was in the midst of some very serious challenges.  He said that he was open to explaining what was happening but not at that moment.  It required a sit down.  Some followed up, for which he was grateful, and some promised to call and never did.  That hurt.  Some of those that followed up couldn’t directly help, but listened and stayed in touch.  That alone was very comforting.

During this time it would have been easy to become cynical, angry, resentful, develop why me -itis…..  He fought against that temptation.  Instead, since he believed that everything happens for a reason, then there were lessons for him from his current challenges.

Here are the some of the lessons he learned (again)

1.From the very helpful and the ones who did more than expected, he was reminded that when the opportunity arose, he should, could, would do the same.  We can all learn to do more than give a hand but rather to extend our hand

“If I am not for myself, who will be for me. And if I am only for myself, of what good am I.” – Ethics of Fathers 1:14 Hillel

“There is no better exercise for your heart, than reaching down and helping to lift someone up.” – Bernard Meltzer

2. This is a two for one lesson.  From the unhelpfuls and those that didn’t follow up, he was reminded to do the opposite.  He also recognized that just like they didn’t know about his situation, he didn’t know where they were on their mountain, so don’t assume/judge.

“What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow.” – Hillel

3. Listening, if  that’s all that can be done, is still vital.  Listen with a listening heart.  One should have a listening heart in all interactions to hear what someone may really be conveying.  That requires taking yourself out of the equation and being empathetic.

Sometimes the opportunities to learn a particular lesson are repeated.  Repeated although they always come dressed differently.  They keep coming until we learn that particular lesson and turn it into action.

When I was a trader, I used to tell people that good traders learn from their losing trades over and over again.  Let’s all continue to learn until

  “Habits of action become habits of the heart”. – Rabbi  Jonathan Sacks

Be Good Do Good Think Good Be Grateful Be Healthy Be A Light Learn Smile