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Don’t Go Comparison Shopping*

October 11, 2017

How often do you compare your life to others?  This kind of comparison shopping comes in different forms.

In one form, you might look at the lives of others that have more of the things you want and you become envious.  This doesn’t improve your lot, instead it might make you angry.  Angry never leads to improvement.

Another form is to look at those in worse situations than you believe you are in.  How many times, when you are in a period of struggle, do you find yourself thinking “it could be worse, look at…….”, in order to make yourself feel better?  Or, how many times, when you tell someone else of your struggle or pain, do they tell you that? It is said by them in an effort and an expectation that it will make you feel better.

Does comparison shopping for someone who is in a worse situation really make you feel better? Perhaps it will provide some temporary relief like taking an aspirin, but it doesn’t cure the ailment.

 “Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.” – Regina Brett

Comparison shopping for someone seemingly in a worse situation might give temporary relief, but it does nothing to inspire you to do what’s necessary to improve your circumstances. In fact, it may do the opposite and inspire you to just accept your situation, which will make things worse by prolonging it.  Worse, it might just be feeding your ego by finding someone you perceive you are better than.  Instead, shop for something that will actually make things better.

Your lot and that of others is not a competition.  If everything happens for a reason, then a part of the reason for your struggle is to find a way out and learn what you can from that process.  Rather than focusing on another, focus on finding the meaning in your struggle.  It will make you stronger and prepare you for more lessons sure to come your way.  Learning all these lessons and welcoming the challenges will eventually lead you to the  person you are destined to become.

 “Adversity introduces a man to himself.”   —   Albert Einstein

“You’ll never find a better sparring partner than adversity.”   —   Golda Meir

The only value in being aware of others in worse situations is to remind you to kindly and compassionately seek ways you can help them.  When you help, you will have shopped in the right place.  That place that will make you feel better.

When you feel better, you can continue to climb your mountain!

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.” – Mark Twain

“If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” – Booker T. Washington

Heart and Soul

*Oldie But Goodie” updated

9 Comments leave one →
  1. October 11, 2017 2:57 pm

    Fred, thanks from all of us for taking the time to post these wise insights that so many of us learn from and consider valuable.

    • Fred Fox permalink
      October 11, 2017 5:47 pm

      Thank you for taking the time to read them and for writing your very much appreciated comment

  2. Alison permalink
    October 11, 2017 9:20 am

    Good morning!

    Was very happy to see this post in my inbox.

    With all the fires going on, this post reminds me that being of service and teaching the kids to be of service is a great way to climb our mountain.

    • Fred Fox permalink
      October 11, 2017 5:49 pm

      perfect take away Thank you

  3. jocko permalink
    October 11, 2017 7:35 am

    Thank you, Fred. Your teaching dovetails with a “Compassion” training I’m doing for the year.

    As a starting point for each participant, we’re to study and practice Generosity (this month’s focus). Your two quotes–from Mark Twain and Booker T. Washington speak to that practice.

    I’ve been finding it’s a good place to begin. You don’t have to necessarily be compassionate, wise, or saintly. You just have to “give.” Good things seem to follow–for all. And it’s cut down on my comparison shopping…except when I wonder if I’ll ever be able to keep up with Mr. Fox on that bike.

    • Fred Fox permalink
      October 11, 2017 9:17 am

      You’re always on the good and right path
      now let’s ride

  4. Derek permalink
    October 11, 2017 6:41 am

    All is good and SSS was saved.

    What a night !

    We battled the fires for 10 hours.

    Fires would come from one direction and then come from another direction.

    We used tractors, shovels, rakes, hoses and wet towels to keep the fires at bay. We were going from one corner of the property to another.

    Our ultimate escape route and base camp was the pool in center of the property.

    There were firestorms in the hills all around us. Houses and trees exploding everywhere.

    Very emotional night.

    Count your blessings,



    • Fred Fox permalink
      October 11, 2017 7:05 am

      I can’t imagine what it was like. i’m so glad that you are okay
      My thoughts and prayers are with you and all those affected

  5. Carmen permalink
    October 11, 2017 6:40 am

    Heart and soul!

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