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Put Both Feet Forward

November 20, 2014

First impressions do matter.  This may not be the way it should be, but at least for now this is the way it is.  So keep this in mind for every first meet.  This could be for a date, informal introduction, job interview, sales call, etc.

Even if you get a second date or the job, you might still suffer from what is called “diagnosis bias”.  The other person’s perception of you will always be somewhat influenced by their initial reaction.  Do not fall into the trap of being a little sloppy and thinking it was okay because no one pointed it out to you.  Just because the person you meet doesn’t mention that your shoelaces are untied, doesn’t mean that they aren’t aware of it and won’t remember it.  Imagine if an actor came on stage and flubbed their first few lines, the audience will have a hard time forgetting that.  The actor can recover but it is harder than starting out well.

The difference between you and the actor, is that the actor is playing the role of another, you are playing the role of you.  Always present your very best.  After all, at every moment, with everyone you meet, in all that you do, you are always representing you.

The above is not to be confused with presenting yourself in ways meant to please the other.  Present yourself and represent yourself means to always maintain your dignity.  You present yourself, not necessarily to please another but necessarily to please yourself, by being your truest you.

While it may not be right for others to judge so quickly, being aware of it can be used as a reminder for you to present your very best.  Through practice and practicing of consciously presenting your very best each time, you will eventually do this automatically.

Until then, after every interaction, ask yourself if you presented and represented you in a way that you are pleased with.  If not, what could you have done differently and how will you remember to do that the next time.

Presentation Tips and Reminders

 “Character is a person’s only real possession.” – Rabbi Israel Salanter

 “Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; The tree is the real thing.” – Abraham Lincoln

“True human dignity does not shout; it is a strong, steady voice that speaks from within.” – Simon Jacobson

Heart and Soul

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Steve Hodgdon permalink
    November 28, 2014 3:14 pm

    How about being authentic from the get go? Then diagnosis bias is beneficial. If he/she/they don’t like who you really are, move on! Not everybody is a fit for everybody.

    • Fred Fox permalink*
      November 30, 2014 10:00 am

      Well said Steve.
      For most of us and for most of the time we have to train ourselves to get to the get go, until as it should be, it becomes natural.
      Everybody is not a fit sounds like good dating advice. Remember though, everything happens for a reason and so everyone we meet is for a reason. It is either to give or receive something or both. The giving and receiving gives us the opportunity to learn something about ourselves and others even if that person is not a fit. What we give and get and learn, helps prepare us for the one who is a fit.

  2. beni permalink
    November 20, 2014 11:56 am

    Useful advice for dating, particularly the “diagnosis bias” analogy.

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